Experiencing light and joy: Tackling chronic depression with Spravato

Michelle R. spent nearly five decades managing her chronic depression until Spravato helped her experience true joy for what felt like the first time.

A college professor by trade, Michelle’s official diagnosis is major depressive disorder (MDD). The 62-year-old has struggled with chronic depression since adolescence.

She started therapy and medication management in her 20s. Her depression also resulted in two hospitalizations.

Despite all that work, the depression never seemed to let up.

“It felt like I was almost incapable of joy, even almost incapable of happiness,” she said.

“That’s been lifelong. The idea of dancing, singing, or whistling? That’s part of how I knew Spravato was working because I caught myself whistling and singing. I find myself humming as I’m walking down the hallway at work. That’s just unheard of for me.”

What’s working is Spravato, or esketamine, an FDA-approved nasal spray for difficult-to-treat (treatment-resistant) depression and major depressive disorder with suicidal thoughts or actions. Michelle started Spravato treatments in January 2024 at Aspen Counseling, a behavioral health group of Rosecrance Therapies in Rockford, Illinois.

It felt like her last-ditch, “I’ll try anything” effort to get a much-needed break from the exhausting, daily routine of managing her mental health. And to her surprised it worked—quickly.

Depression meets its match

Heading into her first Spravato treatment, Michelle didn’t allow herself any expectations.

She even joked with Aspen Director Leah Scanlan that “this not my first rodeo—it’s not going to work.”

Instead of disappointment, Michelle felt something unfamiliar but better.

“My eyes were wide,” she said. “I looked at Leah and said, ‘This is the first time I’ve ever felt the effect on my brain. I have a pretty sassy brain, so I don’t have high expectations. She said to me, ‘I think maybe your sassy brain has met its match.’”

“I couldn’t help but smile at that because that’s exactly what it felt like.”

Spravato was painless, convenient, and affordable. Her sessions were several times a week for the first 12 treatments; now she does them once per week.

And the joy she radiates? She describes it as the world shifting from earth tones to bright and yellow.

Treatment designed for success

Part of what Michelle appreciates about Spravato treatment at Aspen is “feeling good and safe” at the same time.

Clients administer Spravato nasal spray themselves under the supervision of a board-certified behavioral health provider. Afterward, they are observed for two hours to monitor vital signs and treatment progress.

Michelle appreciates a provider being with her during the treatment, noting that it feels like “it was set up for me to succeed and I wouldn’t change that.”

In addition to the Spravato treatments, Michelle still does individual and group therapy and takes medication. She said it’s important to treat your mental health “just like any other health condition,” advocating for and seeking treatment when it’s necessary.

This approach has made such a difference for her personally, and her loved ones have taken notice, too.

“My colleagues and friends definitely notice the color in my clothes now,” she said. “I feel delight and joy, and I never thought that was possible.”

Spravato is offered through Rosecrance Therapies in Rockford and Chicago. Call 312-239-5200 or visit rosecrance.org/spravato for more information.